How to Win Friends and Influence People

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.

3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

4. Become genuinely interested in other people.

5. Smile.

6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

9. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely. In our dealings with others, building them up shows we appreciate their contribution. The bond that results can help us withstand the pressures of our own day-to-day struggles. To get an idea of the sense of pride a new employee would exhibit from being a member of your team speaks volumes about their commitment to the company vision. Find out if your new hire cares about the organization by putting a hypothetical out there.

10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

11. Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong.”

12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

13. Begin in a friendly way.

14. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

17. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

18. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

19. Appeal to the nobler motives.

20. Dramatize your ideas

21. Throw down a challenge.

22. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

23. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. Before criticizing the other person, call attention to your mistakes. Effectively, this allows you to call attention to another person’s mistakes indirectly. This concept also eliminates barriers and helps others to be more open to our coaching. When we acknowledge the value a person has to our organization, we establish a positive tone for open communication.

25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

26. Let the other person save face.

27. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.

28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

29. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. Use encouragement when talking to your people. Make the fault seem easy to correct, make it seem like it’s not the first time you’ve encountered a problem, because it’s not. Mistakes are part of learning. By expressing our belief in the other person’s ability to correct the fault, we give him or her confidence to improve their performance. Another benefit is by encouraging a person’s desire to improve their performance, it develops attitudes and behaviors that are most productive.

30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Author:Dale Carnegie